Case Closed – quick update on my birth family search

I received an email from my adoption agency with an update on my birth family search; or lack thereof. They don’t believe that the person they sent the telegram to is my birth mother as they have not received any reply, one way or the other, since August. In such cases, they deem the case as ‘closed’. The file is put away, they don’t send a follow up and everyone moves on.

I was a little disappointed at first but satisfied with that outcome and the effort that I had put in, until I was telling a fellow adoptee my story. She recommended me this charity that helps adoptees with little information find out more. Essentially, they do this through private investigation. A volunteer policeman helps reunite adoptees with their birth families by cutting through the bureaucracy and red tape that many adoptees face on their searches. Yes guys, I’m hiring a spy.

(Well, not quite. I wish)

The charity actually uses methods that I think are actually helpful in finding a person, you know, like physically going to the town my birth parents are from, going to the hospital I was born and asking around in person. Geumsan is not a big place and I have both of their full names, however, apparently my birth mothers name is fairly common. I met up with him a week ago and he managed my expectations by saying that my case is quite common; teenagers who relinquished their children were scared and often gave false details making tracking them awfully difficult. However, this charity has had a high success rate, especially among those adoptees who were abandoned and therefore, had little to no information to go on.

As I’m only here in Korea for another month I thought what the heck, I may as well give it this one last shot. My adoption agency is still refusing to give me copies of my file causing me great anxiety (Steve isn’t allowed to come with me) and so I’ve just not got any fight left in me anymore to demand for it. The charity said that if the search is unsuccessful they can take me to Daejeon and I can write an article for a local newspaper and hand out leaflets around the town but I think I’ve drawn the line at that; that’s something I’m not really comfortable doing.  Finally, I have made the decision that should December come and I haven’t been successful then I will go to Geumsan myself to experience the place where my birth parents grew up, the place where I was born; I will then make my peace with this journey, call it a day and move on.

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Maree Kinder

My name is Maree, a Korean adoptee who discovered Korean beauty products on my first trip back to Seoul; I’ve been hooked ever since. Come join me on my journey as I move to Korea, learn more about my past and try as many K-beauty products I can get my little hands on!

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